Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts

Monday, July 21, 2014

GET AWAY FROM IT ALL

Below is a photo taken while on my latest retreat to a remote location in South central B.C., Canada. I can't stress enough, my friends, the importance of removing yourself from the distractions of the city and the influence of people at least once a year for a week or more. We become locked into our routine, bound by commitments, a slave to our schedules. 

If possible, one should at least be alone on a weekly basis for a walk or a sit in the park, but I'll chat more about that another time.

For now, It means to impart upon you, the immeasurable benefit from getting as far away from humanity as possible for as long as possible, in order to cleanse oneself of the negative influence imposed upon them by the daily bombardment in today's society.

Getting away from it includes any contact you may have with the outside world and even access to wifi or a cell signal. Your goal, as always, but most especially on retreat, is to return to your pure state. This state can only be reached without distraction.


Leave your profit driven life behind; leave your capitalist brainwashing behind; leave your need to do all your chores and errands behind, your need to look a certain way to fit in, to act the way they tell you. Leave behind your need to keep your car spotless, to wear make-up and jewelry, to work out like an crazy person.

Getting away from it all is your opportunity to be natural. To be your true self without being judged including, in many cases if you're in a remote enough location, running around naked in the bush or by the lake. It's very freeing! You should try it!

Getting away from it all doesn't involve 'Doing' anything. In fact, doing nothing is the point. Nothing is the goal. Silence must be embraced, stillness must, once again, become the natural way and racing thoughts must be tamed. Only then will the soil in the garden of the soul be fertile enough for the seeds of rebirth to germinate.

Live now, my friends...

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

SPIRIT SCIENCE 1 - 15 FULL MOVIE SERIES 2012

You may not 'believe' much of what you see in this series of videos, but regardless, please watch this with an open mind. Your goal is to believe it all. Truth seekers must not allow OPINIONS to halt their progress along the path to enlightenment (afterall, are they even your opinions?)... If there is something you feel uncomfortable about, then your goal should be to have a DIRECT EXPERIENCE of that thing (I'll talk about the importance of direct experience later). The absolute truth is that once you have a direct experience of a thing, your opinions about it will change. Beware, however. Hesitation in having a direct experience of a thing that makes you uncomfortable does not come from your authentic self and must be ignored.

Enjoy!




Sunday, February 5, 2012

ZEITGEIST

I watched the first of the Zeitgeist movies in 2008 shortly following my own awakening. At the time, the film had only been out for a year. Since then, there have been two additional movies released as follow-ups, not to mention a growing movement connected to the recent Occupy Movement associated with the peaceful warriors of Anonymous.

In addition, a new installment has been announced for 2012 called, 'Beyond the Pale'. These movies are free! They are privately funded and available to anyone. To me that's the true measure of altruism and compassion.

This series of movies is like Michael Moore times 1000. Call it what you want, but regardless of being labeled a conspiracy film, it will definitely make you see things differently once you've seen it. The original Zeitgeist is broken up into different parts. It goes into 9/11 theories, facts about the origins of the Christian faith, the facts behind the war in Iraq, the US Federal Reserve and more. 

I'd recommend it to you, my friend. Watch it with an open mind and it will make you question your own uninformed opinion of many things. If nothing else, it will make you want to go out and try to prove these theories wrong... If so, make sure this is the start of questioning everything you've simply trusted on the 'NEWS' and in the 'PAPER'...

Here is the original Zeitgeist:


The second installment is a bit more out there with talk and an actual plan by the filmmaker, Jacque Fresco, for a system of living based on his own utopian ideals. His plan makes perfect sense, however, it would require such a radical and complete shift in the way the world really works, that it would take generations starting from now to make it happen. I believe we're too far gone for such a plan to be effective.

Here's the full movie for Zeitgeist, Addendum:


The third installment (2011) goes into the science of brainwashing. It describes to the viewer in stark detail how we as a collective society have been brainwashed in a scientific and psychological way since most of us were born. Again, watch it with an open mind and I guarantee it will change the way you think.

Here's the full version of 'Moving Forward':


For the skeptics (that should be us all) here's someone who's made a film debunking the debunking of the original Zeitgeist in the religious section:



There's films are all over the web on every side you can imagine. The key is to watch as many as possible in order to make your own decisions. The best part? When you've read and watched enough, you'll discover the common theme in all of it. That it's the same thing; us as conscious matter trying to figure out what this all is and what it all means.

The sheer multitude of ways we express those questions is what makes us all one. I tend to think of the multitude of ways we express and reaffirm our connections to the creator like those who are slaves to the pharmaceutical industry, popping one pill after another. 

If one particular company that markets a pill had a product that worked, there would be no competition for them because they would have found the definitive cure to that particular disease (dis-ease). 

As it stands, there are just as many companies selling pills as there are believers in a particular pill to provide them with a cure. And of those CHEMICAL CONCOCTIONS we're putting our faith in to 'keep us alive', how many of them CURE you?  If they cured you, those companies would no longer exist which goes against the mandate of the very corporations that manufacture the pills you're taking. We'll talk more next time about the black hole of the Medical System...

QUESTION EVERYTHING YOU'VE NOT DISCOVERED YOURSELF THROUGH RESEARCH OF MULTIPLE SOURCES.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

WHAT IS REAL?

I came across this very cool video of holographic technology. It shows someone manipulating 3D shapes like balls and cubes; rolling them on pieces of paper, stacking the cubes etc. Check it out...


Now here's the million dollar question. Is it real? For that matter what is real? Because we can see it, does that mean it's real? Because we can only see it, is it any less 'real' than those things that we are able to detect with more than one sense? You may say that everything in this world is real, but most of it you can't smell, touch, taste, hear or see and even if you can see it, none of our other senses can sense whatever it is.

So if our sight is the only sense that is able to sense what's in front of us, is it real? The next big question is, if none of our senses can sense a thing of this world, does it exist? It's the old Buddhist philosophical question, 'If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear or see it, does it exist?' Take that further. Is what is around the corner and out of our view still there? Even further, does the world still exist when we close our eyes?

Of course you say. I can still hear the birds outside (or traffic, depending on where you live). I can still feel the floor beneath me. I can smell the baking coming from the shop down the street. So it's definitely real. Right? So what if we take those away? What if we subject ourselves to sensory deprivation? If we deliberately cut out as many things that trigger our senses then what's left. What's real?

What's real is what you give meaning and attention to in any given moment. A flower is not a flower until we make it so. Without the name we've all agreed to call it and our individual experience with this particular thing, what is it?

Similarly, without the name they've agreed to give you and the individual experiences that you believe define you, what or who are you? In this world, this dimension, this experience we're having, we are essentially defined by everything we've done to create the life we have now combined with the various experiences we've had along the way, like rocks in the stream that caused us to change our course.

So year after year of adding the things of this world to your life and changing course more times than can be counted, where have you ended up? Certainly not feeling like the real thing that you are which is pure energy, light and part of the essence that makes up everything in the universe.

I once live in a very noisy downtown environment. I used to walk a friend's dog occasionally. The dog was normally very obedient, very loving and always attentive. But, every time I would take her out for a walk in downtown she would be the exact opposite. She was hard to control, extremely nervous and fearful. I realized after paying attention to her reactions outside vs. inside, that her senses were being bombarded, thus creating a completely different dog on our walks. The most telling thing, however, was when I would walk out of downtown to a peaceful park. She instantly would go back to being calm, loving and obedient. Even with squirrels, other dogs, distractions etc., she was back to being her attentive loving self again.

So I began looking at myself in the same way. I started observing the sheer number of stresses I had willingly added to my life over the years. Where I chose to live, the career I chose, the car I drove, where I chose to drive, where I chose to walk, the tv shows I watched, the radio I listened to, the type of music I listened to, the clothes I chose to wear to express to the world who I wanted them to see etc. All the things I added to my life in order to define myself as a 'real' person and most importantly understanding that if I had chosen certain things to this point, then I could certainly choose other things from this moment on. So I started looking at how I felt as a good gauge. Observing myself as I watched 'Disco' the dog.

I decided that if FEELING BAD upset the balance in any way, I got rid of what was causing it or changed it. Day after day, step by step chipping away at the matrix my choices had created. I canceled cable, stopped listening to mainstream radio (listening to music that neither sticks in my head nor is attached to selling me something or gossiping/judging others), stopped going to the movies, stopped going to malls, stopped going to bars and restaurants, took public transit more, gave myself more time to get places so I'm not feeling pressed, took walks alone in peaceful environments, reminded myself to look up, breathe and so much more on a daily basis. All just different choices leading to different results that literally changes the future!

Without as many distractions, I then subjected my SELF to as much sensory deprivation as possible. However you decide to do this, it's up to you. For me, I've found lying down works best, but not if I'm feeling sleepy. There's no reason you need to listen to those who say you need to sit this way or that or breathe in a certain way or visualize anything at all. In fact this is the exact opposite. You don't want to have any preconceived notions or expectations. You want to be available for what comes naturally.

Rather than setting out to achieve something by doing this, your goal is to pear down to nothing and ALLOW whatever comes to come. I would (and still do) cover my eyes with a sleep shade and put noise cancelling headphones on with generic music that won't cause thoughts or emotions to arise. In fact, I created my own meditation music with programs available to everyone for free and would more than recommend trying it. The key is to make it as generic as possible, even if it's one note for 10 minutes. Your goal is to derail your mind from it's habitual patterns.

I would suggest starting with ten minutes so you don't fall asleep (also, if you do tend to fall asleep then sit up). The more you practice, the better you'll get. The main purpose of this is to wipe your mind of thoughts, stop you from listening to anything your mind can identify with, stop you from seeing things that have meaning attached to them and to literally focus on nothing. If a thought comes, you recognize it and let it go. Like a sign on the highway that comes and goes to a route you've no intention of taking. It comes and goes, then back to nothing. 

I'll talk more next time on breathing and how important it is to life. That may sound silly, but we've forgotten to breathe. Let me just say this. Getting to nothing also involves the ability to ALLOW your body to take in and process oxygen and expel carbon dioxide. Naturally and without you trying. Early on, let's just say that every time you feel yourself being swept away by your mind, take a breath, stretch tall to allow your spine to stretch and your nervous system (the source and transit system of your energy) to flow unimpeded, and relax the tension from your body until you can't feel any of it.

So now let me ask this. Once you wipe your mind of thoughts, can't see or hear anything that means anything to you, and have relaxed every part of your body so you can't feel it, what will be? What will you be? What will you see in your minds eye? For that matter without thoughts, sounds and visions that create obstacles to your true self what thoughts will come when they come? 

Will they have anything to do with the YOU you thought you were? For me, after a few years of daily sessions, my thoughts were becoming more profound and epiphanies about life and the universe and my place in it were coming every time. My view of the world changed and the things I focused on changed. By wiping clean the cluttered chalk-board of my life, what was left over was so much more PURE and I knew it had come from within me without external influence.

Make this your intention and you WILL change what you've convinced yourself is real. As a result your life will change to reflect those new thoughts and realizations. I guarantee it. Once this happens, you'll find and be able to maintain your connection to the source of creative energy in the universe. At this point, even if you've never written or painted or made music, photographed or created anything before, you will FEEL the connection you have lost (but know is there) and you will be urged to express that creativity in ways you never though possible.

Make it a point to see as many creations as you can that help you realize that whatever it is, it was created with a divine connection, a link to the creative force that connects everything and KNOW you are a part of this force. 

Without fear, make it your intention to allow this connection to once again be felt.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

RUMI

How does one describe the indescribable? Is it even possible to put pure love into words? How do we express our connection to the creative energy that exists in us all? We do so in every good action, in every positive vibration we send outward to the universe. Please enjoy the following from one of my favorites, the Sufi poet Rumi:

Your love lifts my soul from the body to the sky
And you lift me up out of the two worlds.
I want your sun to reach my raindrops,
So your heat can raise my soul upward like a cloud.

Rumi expresses his connection to the creative source by allowing his absolute understanding of that connection to flow through him. How does he do it? By giving up, by giving in, and by giving over all to whatever may come. Love is never present in the absence of the truth... If you have a chance to read a few of his many other works, I'm sure you'll see how Rumi allows that truth to be expressed in each and every syllable.

 For all those who express their connection to the creative source in whatever you do. In whatever form you allow the thoughts and ideas birthed within you from the great nothing to flow through you, that is your own personal link to the source. Like the seeds that give way to the apple that produces more seeds that are once again planted to produce more in a never-ending cycle, these thoughts and ideas that come from the light inside you are alive. They have a birth and a death. Only you can decide how long they live. Will you protect your gifts from the creator and allow them to flourish?

Nothing ventured, nothing gained my friend...

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

REALITY MINING

Collecting and analyzing your cell phone GPS data may take on a whole new purpose in our lives very shortly. Imagine having a God's Eye View of the world, much like Google Earth, street level maps etc., but being able to see where you've been throughout your days. Not only will it track your movement, but would analyze levels of activity, where you've been in relation to others, what your likelihood of stress, disease and other lifestyle issues based on where you go and what you do. Think of it like tracking your heart rate, but now being able to see so many more things, even the things we're so brainwashed to do, we're unaware of it. 

Imagine seeing right in front of you a map of your movements in relation to others; seeing the habitual patterns we've become so used to we don't even consider what it's doing to you. By analyzing your data in relation to others, you'll be able to see your likelihood of having an accident based on your movements through high accident zones, your likelihood of getting heart disease based on where you go and your particular patterns in relation to others who have the same habitual patterns. Forget tracking your caloric intake. This will track your walking vs. driving, the amount of energy expended based on tracked speed, elevation etc. and make recommendations to you on how you can make changes to your lifestyle to avoid or reduce your percentage of self harm, at the same time increasing your chances of running into that elusive business contact. It will track how often you eat out, where you eat out including the kind of food served at the restaurants you visited and give you a picture of the person you are health-wise and socially.

Having said that, is this really the way to find out who you are? Do we need cell phones, internet, electronics etc. to do our thinking for us? Or is it possible to do our own reality mining in the moment when a choice is presented to us? Are we complicating something that is actually best in a simplistic form? Are we making a mountain out of a mole-hill? Perhaps in an ever-increasing world of electronic gadgets, the only way to find out who we really are and what our chances of getting hurt or dying are is to rely on that technology or at least use it in conjunction with our brains. I'm not completely sold, especially now that I see the world with fresh eyes. Of course I never thought I would see Monks with cell phones and iPads or clergy wringing their hands like a teenage girl at getting a smoking deal on a tablet on eBay. One's religious experience is not the same when the priest's cell phone goes off during Sunday mass.

But I NEED my cell phone! It's my life! Without it I'd be lost!... There's your answer, my friend. You're an addict. But, what if there's an EMERGENCY!... There's your answer as well my fearful, brainwashed companion. But WHAT IF, WHAT IF, WHAT IF!... If the thought of something not being available to you creates a sense of panic in you, then there's your answer my friend. And all you needed to do was slow down long enough to allow the answer that's right inside of you to materialize. We'll touch on the voice (or voices) inside another time...

Any question you ask yourself with focus and sincerity will be answered by some part of you. You ask yourself questions all the time in fact. Should you keep wearing the same clothing until it wears out instead of continually feeding a desire to be something and look some way, should you choose to see the homeless person or keep walking, should you choose to be a positive influence in this world or keep taking and taking, should you continue to spend $5 a day on special coffee brewed by a coffee 'expert'... the list goes on. 

Our lives are the way they are because of the choices we make in every moment and the thoughts we think. Why does this happen to me!? We shake our fists in the air. The answer is simple. You made it happen. Why is this life so hard!? Again, simple. You made it hard. The real hard part is first slowing down and paying attention to something other than you in order to see it, in order to be available when the answer to your question comes, then acting on it as long as it's good for you and others. Right now, it's mostly good for you at the expense of others. The next most difficult part is to tell the TRUTH to yourself and others. Obviously, that's not working for you since you've been led here (led by whom?). We'll talk more about these crucial steps, SLOWING DOWN and TELLING THE TRUTH in laying the foundation of awakening in future posts. 

The purpose of this post is to ask you to consider the extent to which you may be controlled by your dependency on your electronics (tv, internet, cell phone etc.) and everything that goes with them as well as who's doing the controlling. What do I mean by everything that goes with them? This is the first opportunity to tell the truth, to actually take the time to avoid the excuses of what you NEED to happily exist in this world and to act on it in order for the circumstances of real change to occur. I'm sure any of us can create a long list of reasons why we NEED one thing or another in order for us to be able to function. But at what point do these little 'conveniences' start to have a negative impact on us (the definition of negative being something that takes us away from lasting joy and a connection to the Light Inside)? So once the list is made, then we can begin to start paring down those unnecessary things from our lives. Simplifying or as I like to call it, DEVOLVING.

So perhaps it's time to start your own reality mining; to start paying attention to your own habitual patterns; the things you tell yourself you need to be happy, the things you need to support the other things you've piled onto this mortal experience. You're the only one who can honestly analyze the choices you make and the way you perceive the experiences you have in each moment.

May the right circumstances always be present for joy to emerge...

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

GIVING IT ALL UP


Above is a clip from a BBC4 documentary called 'American Nomads'. It's about all the folks who have given it all up to live life on the open road. Whether it's the retired, the affluent, the poor, abused, the enlightened, anarchists, gutter punks, old, young, sane or crazy (we'll touch on labels later). This is the perfect example of the melting pot of who we are as a whole. Whether you're riding the rails or in a modern day RV wagon-train, all these people have decided to give it all up. No bills, no commitments, no responsibilities. Under nobody's control, but their own. Above is just a short clip, but I would more than recommend checking out the entire show. There are more than 1 million people out there who have decided to go off-grid and are much happier as a result. Would you be?

One of the first urges one has when their eyes have been opened is to leave it all behind. Obviously, based on the above documentary, many have already done so. But it's not just the one's who have all their ducks in a row so-to-speak. Living without a home, car, stuff, financial or other responsibilities may seem like a dream, especially when the show you're watching is set in a gloriously sunny locale and many of the folks out there seem to have found the same joy we see on the faces of tribes who've been untouched by our society's ills. But this documentary also shows the abused, downtrodden, and addicted are literally fighting for their survival out there.

Now that you see the world differently should you give it all up? Should you leave it all behind and take to the highways and byways? Sure, why not. But don't ever come back. Why? Because everything you've left behind will still be waiting for you when you return. I'm not just talking about things either. The very circumstances that trigger the automatic responses in you remain as well, waiting to be called to the surface. 

You can surround yourself with all the circumstances in the world that trigger a calm, peaceful response in you, but without dealing with the underlying source of anger, jealousy, hatred, etc., the automatic responses to those circumstances will still be triggered. Just like the circumstances necessary for the flame to materialize, when those circumstances are present they naturally produce the flame. The flame is still here, but may not yet have the circumstances in place to allow it to materialize. Neither does anger in a place where the circumstances that trigger anger don't exist.

The point is we must first deal with the underlying cause of the effect of anger, jealousy, etc. before we can think about 'leaving it all behind.' So if all those negative emotions are still here just waiting to resurface upon our return from living in a cave in India, then what hope do we have to rid ourselves of them? None my friend, none... Say what mofo!? Doesn't enlightenment mean being free from the bonds of negative emotions and actions? Kind-of. It means being free of the influence those inherent emotions have over us to make us unconscious. Yep, unfortunately you still need to live with them. But now that you've experienced this new-found clarity, you are more aware those emotions exist and have power over you. 

You now have the opportunity through clarity to see the triggers and understand they cause an automatic response. You can now learn through practice (hence, the term spiritual practice) to PACIFY them as they arise. Just like earning a black-belt in martial arts helped give me the clarity to understand the journey was just beginning, an enlightening moment is a window into what can be a lasting way of being. Just don't muck up this opportunity by burying part of yourself alive until you dig it up at some later date. 

Besides, there's no reason you can't walk out the front door on a Friday with a backpack of supplies and find somewhere to camp alone for the weekend... In fact, I have friends in their 30's who spend half the year in a converted bus on the beach in Florida and half the year in the big city and are perfectly happy. No one but you says your life needs to be a certain way. You are the creator of this experience. You are the ultimate cause of the effects of your life. The balance is your to maintain.

Every Journey of a Thousand Miles begins with a First Step - Lao Tzu, The Tao.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

EMBRACE THE STAGES LEADING TO LASTING JOY

When I was a kid I was fascinated by the martial arts. Plus, I grew up in the era of Chuck Norris, Arnold, and Jean Claude. Bruce Lee was still alive and I had the poster of him in the yellow jumpsuit with the double nunchucks from 'Enter the Dragon'. Dojo's everywhere were full to the brim and the movie of the day was the first 'Karate Kid'. I read a book called 'Wisdom from the Ninja Village' (or something close to that) by a Westerner who went to live in the mountains and became a ninja. For some reason I had never associated the violent side of things like Ninjas. When you're a kid violence and death is just a part of the game. We would run around the woods near my childhood home, swinging from the branches, running through the bushes hunting each other, yelling, "Bang, bang! I got you!" "No, I saw you first! Timeout! No fair!" Even when you're a kid taking martial arts classes, they're not associated with hurting or killing. It's like playtime. Running, jumping, rolling, cartwheels, punching the air and yelling, "Keeeyaapp!" The goal of teaching children martial arts is to introduce the idea of self-discipline and structure in a fun way, combined with core principles such as fairness, kindness and good will. One seldom knows from the start that the ultimate goal of every martial art is a connection with the self and one's place in nature...essentially, the search for enlightenment and non-violence (inwardly or outwardly).

Since I was a child, my main goal had been getting my black belt. I spend countless hours working toward that goal (years in fact). The understanding that martial arts is also associated with violence and death grew as I got older and I embraced my board-breaking, weapon-wielding, fists of fury. I had mastered the double nunchucks I had seen in the Bruce Lee movies, I could do the splits, I could do the flips, I was even attacked by three guys once and defended myself in a combination of moves Bruce, Jean-Claude, and Chuck would have been proud of. 

So after all those years of blood, sweat and tears I finally got my black belt. After all those years of training to achieve what I thought was the pinnacle of those efforts, what did I realize with my shiny black belt in hand? I realized I was still essentially the same person. I wasn't fending off bad guys coming from all sides, tough-guys weren't running away from me at a glance, and women weren't swooning at my feet. It was kind of a let-down. What it did, however, was make me realize the goal I had set was a false marker. Because once I got there, like a mirage on the desert floor, it was gone.

It's kind of like that with a spiritual journey. You set your goal of living a spiritual life. You go to the gym, oops, I mean your place of worship, on a regular basis (of course, going to the gym is in no way related to going to church). You perfect your skills at defending your spirit from evil intentions, you practice the art of 'Goodness and Light' in order to banish the darkness. Some even tell you that you need to kill your ego or at least engage in a form of divine battle to save your soul. If all the circumstances are in place you will achieve the first step (beyond the initial decision to embark on the journey in the first place). This is a moment of supreme clarity. It's a blindingly joyful experience. You don't need anyone to tell you what it is. You'll know it when it comes my friend. In Japanese it's referred to as Satori. Here's the Wiki definition of Satori:

Satori (悟り?) (Chinese: 悟; pinyin: wù; Korean 오; Vietnamese ngộ) is a Japanese Buddhist term for enlightenment that literally means "understanding". In the Zen Buddhist tradition, satori refers to a flash of sudden awareness, or individual enlightenment, and is considered a "first step" or embarkation toward nirvana. Satori is typically juxtaposed with the related term kensho, which translates as "seeing one's nature". Kensho experiences tend to be briefer glimpses, while satori is considered to be a deeper spiritual experience.

My own 'Satori' occurred almost seven years from the moment I decided to embark on a spiritual path and a year after I pulled the plug on my father and watched him die in front of me (making death very real for the first time). Once I hit that moment in time; after all the blood sweat and tears (sound familiar?) I thought, "This is it! I've arrived!" That was close to four years ago... 

When I look back at the video I posted of Jim Carrey, I can see the same thing. He's experienced a sudden and unexpected flash of understanding. The dark clouds momentarily parted allowing a glimpse into the blinding light of clarity. The good news is your life will never be the same again...the bad news is your life will never be the same again. Now here's where a choice MUST be made as you see the house of cards you've worked so hard to build slowly start to crumble. All the lies you told to yourself and others, all the family and friends who begin to label you as a nut, seeing the veil of lies and manipulation that's been perpetrated against you by you, seeing the path of destruction you've left behind in your selfish wake all those years before come flooding back to you. You're now face to face with something very real in your fantasy world. Listen to what Jim says as he appears stunned by his new-found revelations. He describes discovering something monumental adding that since that moment he's been desperately trying to get back to it. That's perfectly normal. So is placing all your faith in a guru whom you mistakenly think can lead you back to whatever it was and make it stick this time. What? Now that you're 'ready' you can handle the big secret? Okay, here it is...you should sit... The big secret is there is no secret...

Like any major achievement, black-belt or spiritual there are different stages involved. Each stage must be celebrated, accepted and understood. The decision to embark on the journey, the satori moment, the pious times, the guru search, discovering the guru in you, learning to understand and pacify the ego, the search for the like-minded, coming to terms with the real world vs. the REAL world, seeking out and accepting the path others have taken (whatever their faith), among other stages. Each one has it's own set of circumstances that you need to come to an understanding of before you can move on.

Even Eckhart Tolle in his book 'The Power of Now' talks about spending 10 years after his moment of realization sitting on park benches wrestling with the stages that followed his moment of clarity. Speaking of which, that book is on my all-time favorites list and I would highly recommend it. Just don't make Mr. Tolle your guru. Remember, he's simply one of those signposts along your path. Think of him as one of those people who hands you water from the side of the road in a marathon.

I'm going to say this once. Spirituality, the spiritual path, the search for enlightenment, your quest to find the light within etc. is FREE!! You should NEVER, NEVER, NEVER pay anyone to guide you in this quest and they should never, EVER accept a monetary reward for doing their duty. Shame on them all...

Also, one of the stages you'll go through is expressing your new-found way to the world. If you are moved by the Buddha and his own journey, that doesn't mean filling your mansion with Buddhist artwork or adorning yourself with crystal prayer beads, exotic jewels and clothing. It means you've discovered the timeless connection you share with countless others over many eons who have sought the same destination and walked the path before you... both living and dead my friend, both the living and the dead. And if you want to get back home, you need to get there in the most simple, silent, and peaceful way...alone. Don't be afraid my friend. They're all still here with you...all-ways and forever.

Oddly enough, one of the first things that popped into my head upon the moment of my own paradigm shift, was the movie 'The Matrix' (the first one). Make no mistake. It is the story of enlightenment. You could say it's a blueprint for what this life is. It's also combined with one of the stages I wrote about earlier following Satori. That is the absolute clear understanding of having been lied to, manipulated, and brainwashed your whole life and the firm knowledge that remaining in that world goes against the specific set of circumstances needed to keep from getting sucked back into that life, (but now under the guise of leading a life connected to the light inside). Are you Neo who takes the Red Pill or the character of Cypher who wants to remain in the Matrix with no memory of the real world? Fortunately, in this case, there is no going back once you've had a glimpse of the light inside. You can't have your cake and eat it too so please don't be a hypocrite. It's the greatest lie you can tell now that you know the truth.

Seek the light, but understand and accept the stages that follow.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

IS THIS ALL ONE BIG HOLOGRAM?

The Universe as a Hologram
Author unknown
Does Objective Reality Exist, or is the Universe a Phantasm?
In 1982 a remarkable event took place. At the University of Paris a research team led by physicist Alain Aspect performed what may turn out to be one of the most important experiments of the 20th century. You did not hear about it on the evening news. In fact, unless you are in the habit of reading scientific journals you probably have never even heard Aspect's name, though there are some who believe his discovery may change the face of science.
Aspect and his team discovered that under certain circumstances subatomic particles such as electrons are able to instantaneously communicate with each other regardless of the distance separating them. It doesn't matter whether they are 10 feet or 10 billion miles apart.
Somehow each particle always seems to know what the other is doing. The problem with this feat is that it violates Einstein's long-held tenet that no communication can travel faster than the speed of light. Since traveling faster than the speed of light is tantamount to breaking the time barrier, this daunting prospect has caused some physicists to try to come up with elaborate ways to explain away Aspect's findings. But it has inspired others to offer even more radical explanations.

University of London physicist David Bohm, for example, believes Aspect's findings imply that objective reality does not exist, that despite its apparent solidity the universe is at heart a phantasm, a gigantic and splendidly detailed hologram.
To understand why Bohm makes this startling assertion, one must first understand a little about holograms. A hologram is a three- dimensional photograph made with the aid of a laser. To make a hologram, the object to be photographed is first bathed in the light of a laser beam. Then a second laser beam is bounced off the reflected light of the first and the resulting interference pattern (the area where the two laser beams commingle) is captured on film. When the film is developed, it looks like a meaningless swirl of light and dark lines. But as soon as the developed film is illuminated by another laser beam, a three-dimensional image of the original object appears. The three-dimensionality of such images is not the only remarkable characteristic of holograms. If a hologram of a rose is cut in half and then illuminated by a laser, each half will still be found to contain the entire image of the rose. Indeed, even if the halves are divided again, each snippet of film will always be found to contain a smaller but intact version of the original image. Unlike normal photographs, every part of a hologram contains all the information possessed by the whole. The "whole in every part" nature of a hologram provides us with an entirely new way of understanding organization and order. For most of its history, Western science has labored under the bias that the best way to understand a physical phenomenon, whether a frog or an atom, is to dissect it and study its respective parts.

A hologram teaches us that some things in the universe may not lend themselves to this approach. If we try to take apart something constructed holographically, we will not get the pieces of which it is made, we will only get smaller wholes. This insight suggested to Bohm another way of understanding Aspect's discovery. Bohm believes the reason subatomic particles are able to remain in contact with one another regardless of the distance separating them is not because they are sending some sort of mysterious signal back and forth, but because their separateness is an illusion. He argues that at some deeper level of reality such particles are not individual entities, but are actually extensions of the same fundamental something.

To enable people to better visualize what he means, Bohm offers the following illustration. Imagine an aquarium containing a fish. Imagine also that you are unable to see the aquarium directly and your knowledge about it and what it contains comes from two television cameras, one directed at the aquarium's front and the other directed at its side. As you stare at the two television monitors, you might assume that the fish on each of the screens are separate entities. After all, because the cameras are set at different angles, each of the images will be slightly different. But as you continue to watch the two fish, you will eventually become aware that there is a certain relationship between them. When one turns, the other also makes a slightly different but corresponding turn; when one faces the front, the other always faces toward the side. If you remain unaware of the full scope of the situation, you might even conclude that the fish must be instantaneously communicating with one another, but this is clearly not the case.

This, says Bohm, is precisely what is going on between the subatomic particles in Aspect's experiment. According to Bohm, the apparent faster-than-light connection between subatomic particles is really telling us that there is a deeper level of reality we are not privy to, a more complex dimension beyond our own that is analogous to the aquarium. And, he adds, we view objects such as subatomic particles as separate from one another because we are seeing only a portion of their reality.

Such particles are not separate "parts", but facets of a deeper and more underlying unity that is ultimately as holographic and indivisible as the previously mentioned rose. And since everything in physical reality is comprised of these "eidolons", the universe is itself a projection, a hologram.

In addition to its phantomlike nature, such a universe would possess other rather startling features. If the apparent separateness of subatomic particles is illusory, it means that at a deeper level of reality all things in the universe are infinitely interconnected. The electrons in a carbon atom in the human brain are connected to the subatomic particles that comprise every salmon that swims, every heart that beats, and every star that shimmers in the sky. Everything interpenetrates everything, and although human nature may seek to categorize and pigeonhole and subdivide, the various phenomena of the universe, all apportionments are of necessity artificial and all of nature is ultimately a seamless web.

In a holographic universe, even time and space could no longer be viewed as fundamentals. Because concepts such as location break down in a universe in which nothing is truly separate from anything else, time and three-dimensional space, like the images of the fish on the TV monitors, would also have to be viewed as projections of this deeper order. At its deeper level reality is a sort of superhologram in which the past, present, and future all exist simultaneously. This suggests that given the proper tools it might even be possible to someday reach into the superholographic level of reality and pluck out scenes from the long-forgotten past. What else the superhologram contains is an open-ended question. Allowing, for the sake of argument, that the superhologram is the matrix that has given birth to everything in our universe, at the very least it contains every subatomic particle that has been or will be -- every configuration of matter and energy that is possible, from snowflakes to quasars, from blue whales to gamma rays. It must be seen as a sort of cosmic storehouse of "All That Is."

Although Bohm concedes that we have no way of knowing what else might lie hidden in the superhologram, he does venture to say that we have no reason to assume it does not contain more. Or as he puts it, perhaps the superholographic level of reality is a "mere stage" beyond which lies "an infinity of further development". Bohm is not the only researcher who has found evidence that the universe is a hologram. Working independently in the field of brain research, Standford neurophysiologist Karl Pribram has also become persuaded of the holographic nature of reality.


Pribram was drawn to the holographic model by the puzzle of how and where memories are stored in the brain. For decades numerous studies have shown that rather than being confined to a specific location, memories are dispersed throughout the brain.

In a series of landmark experiments in the 1920s, brain scientist Karl Lashley found that no matter what portion of a rat's brain he removed he was unable to eradicate its memory of how to perform complex tasks it had learned prior to surgery. The only problem was that no one was able to come up with a mechanism that might explain this curious "whole in every part" nature of memory storage. Then in the 1960s Pribram encountered the concept of holography and realized he had found the explanation brain scientists had been looking for. Pribram believes memories are encoded not in neurons, or small groupings of neurons, but in patterns of nerve impulses that crisscross the entire brain in the same way that patterns of laser light interference crisscross the entire area of a piece of film containing a holographic image. In other words, Pribram believes the brain is itself a hologram. Pribram's theory also explains how the human brain can store so many memories in so little space. It has been estimated that the human brain has the capacity to memorize something on the order of 10 billion bits of information during the average human lifetime (or roughly the same amount of information contained in five sets of the Encyclopaedia Britannica).

Similarly, it has been discovered that in addition to their other capabilities, holograms possess an astounding capacity for information storage--simply by changing the angle at which the two lasers strike a piece of photographic film, it is possible to record many different images on the same surface. It has been demonstrated that one cubic centimeter of film can hold as many as 10 billion bits of information. Our uncanny ability to quickly retrieve whatever information we need from the enormous store of our memories becomes more understandable if the brain functions according to holographic principles. If a friend asks you to tell him what comes to mind when he says the word "zebra", you do not have to clumsily sort back through some gigantic and cerebral alphabetic file to arrive at an answer. Instead, associations like "striped", "horselike", and "animal native to Africa" all pop into your head instantly. Indeed, one of the most amazing things about the human thinking process is that every piece of information seems instantly cross- correlated with every other piece of information--another feature intrinsic to the hologram. Because every portion of a hologram is infinitely interconnected with every other portion, it is perhaps nature's supreme example of a cross-correlated system.
 
The storage of memory is not the only neurophysiological puzzle that becomes more tractable in light of Pribram's holographic model of the brain. Another is how the brain is able to translate the avalanche of frequencies it receives via the senses (light frequencies, sound frequencies, and so on) into the concrete world of our perceptions. Encoding and decoding frequencies is precisely what a hologram does best. Just as a hologram functions as a sort of lens, a translating device able to convert an apparently meaningless blur of frequencies into a coherent image, Pribram believes the brain also comprises a lens and uses holographic principles to mathematically convert the frequencies it receives through the senses into the inner world of our perceptions. An impressive body of evidence suggests that the brain uses holographic principles to perform its operations. Pribram's theory, in fact, has gained increasing support among neurophysiologists.

Argentinian-Italian researcher Hugo Zucarelli recently extended the holographic model into the world of acoustic phenomena. Puzzled by the fact that humans can locate the source of sounds without moving their heads, even if they only possess hearing in one ear, Zucarelli discovered that holographic principles can explain this ability. Zucarelli has also developed the technology of holophonic sound, a recording technique able to reproduce acoustic situations with an almost uncanny realism.

Pribram's belief that our brains mathematically construct "hard" reality by relying on input from a frequency domain has also received a good deal of experimental support. It has been found that each of our senses is sensitive to a much broader range of frequencies than was previously suspected. Researchers have discovered, for instance, that our visual systems are sensitive to sound frequencies, that our sense of smell is in part dependent on what are now called "osmic frequencies", and that even the cells in our bodies are sensitive to a broad range of frequencies. Such findings suggest that it is only in the holographic domain of consciousness that such frequencies are sorted out and divided up into conventional perceptions. But the most mind-boggling aspect of Pribram's holographic model of the brain is what happens when it is put together with Bohm's theory. For if the concreteness of the world is but a secondary reality and what is "there" is actually a holographic blur of frequencies, and if the brain is also a hologram and only selects some of the frequencies out of this blur and mathematically transforms them into sensory perceptions, what becomes of objective reality?
 
Put quite simply, it ceases to exist. As the religions of the East have long upheld, the material world is Maya, an illusion, and although we may think we are physical beings moving through a physical world, this too is an illusion.

We are really "receivers" floating through a kaleidoscopic sea of frequency, and what we extract from this sea and transmogrify into physical reality is but one channel from many extracted out of the superhologram. This striking new picture of reality, the synthesis of Bohm and Pribram's views, has come to be called the holographic paradigm, and although many scientists have greeted it with skepticism, it has galvanized others. A small but growing group of researchers believe it may be the most accurate model of reality science has arrived at thus far. More than that, some believe it may solve some mysteries that have never before been explainable by science and even establish the paranormal as a part of nature.

Numerous researchers, including Bohm and Pribram, have noted that many para-psychological phenomena become much more understandable in terms of the holographic paradigm. In a universe in which individual brains are actually indivisible portions of the greater hologram and everything is infinitely interconnected, telepathy may merely be the accessing of the holographic level. It is obviously much easier to understand how information can travel from the mind of individual 'A' to that of individual 'B' at a far distance point and helps to understand a number of unsolved puzzles in psychology. In particular, Grof feels the holographic paradigm offers a model for understanding many of the baffling phenomena experienced by individuals during altered states of consciousness.

In the 1950s, while conducting research into the beliefs of LSD as a psychotherapeutic tool, Grof had one female patient who suddenly became convinced she had assumed the identity of a female of a species of prehistoric reptile. During the course of her hallucination, she not only gave a richly detailed description of what it felt like to be encapsuled in such a form, but noted that the portion of the male of the species's anatomy was a patch of colored scales on the side of its head. What was startling to Grof was that although the woman had no prior knowledge about such things, a conversation with a zoologist later confirmed that in certain species of reptiles colored areas on the head do indeed play an important role as triggers of sexual arousal. The woman's experience was not unique. During the course of his research, Grof encountered examples of patients regressing and identifying with virtually every species on the evolutionary tree (research findings which helped influence the man-into-ape scene in the movie Altered States). Moreover, he found that such experiences frequently contained obscure zoological details which turned out to be accurate. Regressions into the animal kingdom were not the only puzzling psychological phenomena Grof encountered. He also had patients who appeared to tap into some sort of collective or racial unconscious. Individuals with little or no education suddenly gave detailed descriptions of Zoroastrian funerary practices and scenes from Hindu mythology. In other categories of experience, individuals gave persuasive accounts of out-of-body journeys, of precognitive glimpses of the future, of regressions into apparent past-life incarnations.

In later research, Grof found the same range of phenomena manifested in therapy sessions which did not involve the use of drugs. Because the common element in such experiences appeared to be the transcending of an individual's consciousness beyond the usual boundaries of ego and/or limitations of space and time, Grof called such manifestations "transpersonal experiences", and in the late '60s he helped found a branch of psychology called "transpersonal psychology" devoted entirely to their study. Although Grof's newly founded Association of Transpersonal Psychology garnered a rapidly growing group of like-minded professionals and has become a respected branch of psychology, for years neither Grof or any of his colleagues were able to offer a mechanism for explaining the bizarre psychological phenomena they were witnessing. But that has changed with the advent of the holographic paradigm. As Grof recently noted, if the mind is actually part of a continuum, a labyrinth that is connected not only to every other mind that exists or has existed, but to every atom, organism, and region in the vastness of space and time itself, the fact that it is able to occasionally make forays into the labyrinth and have transpersonal experiences no longer seems so strange.
The holographic prardigm also has implications for so-called hard sciences like biology. Keith Floyd, a psychologist at Virginia Intermont College, has pointed out that if the concreteness of reality is but a holographic illusion, it would no longer be true to say the brain produces consciousness. Rather, it is consciousness that creates the appearance of the brain -- as well as the body and everything else around us we interpret as physical. Such a turnabout in the way we view biological structures has caused researchers to point out that medicine and our understanding of the healing process could also be transformed by the holographic paradigm. If the apparent physical structure of the body is but a holographic projection of consciousness, it becomes clear that each of us is much more responsible for our health than current medical wisdom allows. What we now view as miraculous remissions of disease may actually be due to changes in consciousness which in turn effect changes in the hologram of the body.
Similarly, controversial new healing techniques such as visualization may work so well because in the holographic domain of thought images are ultimately as real as "reality". Even visions and experiences involving "non-ordinary" reality become explainable under the holographic paradigm. In his book "Gifts of Unknown Things," biologist Lyall Watson discribes his encounter with an Indonesian shaman woman who, by performing a ritual dance, was able to make an entire grove of trees instantly vanish into thin air. Watson relates that as he and another astonished onlooker continued to watch the woman, she caused the trees to reappear, then "click" off again and on again several times in succession. Although current scientific understanding is incapable of explaining such events, experiences like this become more tenable if "hard" reality is only a holographic projection. Perhaps we agree on what is "there" or "not there" because what we call consensus reality is formulated and ratified at the level of the human unconscious at which all minds are infinitely interconnected.

If this is true, it is the most profound implication of the holographic paradigm of all, for it means that experiences such as Watson's are not commonplace only because we have not programmed our minds with the beliefs that would make them so. In a holographic universe there are no limits to the extent to which we can alter the fabric of reality. What we perceive as reality is only a canvas waiting for us to draw upon it any picture we want. Anything is possible, from bending spoons with the power of the mind to the phantasmagoric events experienced by Castaneda during his encounters with the Yaqui brujo don Juan, for magic is our birthright, no more or less miraculous than our ability to compute the reality we want when we are in our dreams. Indeed, even our most fundamental notions about reality become suspect, for in a holographic universe, as Pribram has pointed out, even random events would have to be seen as based on holographic principles and therefore determined. Synchronicities or meaningful coincidences suddenly makes sense, and everything in reality would have to be seen as a metaphor, for even the most haphazard events would express some underlying symmetry. Whether Bohm and Pribram's holographic paradigm becomes accepted in science or dies an ignoble death remains to be seen, but it is safe to say that it has already had an influence on the thinking of many scientists. And even if it is found that the holographic model does not provide the best explanation for the instantaneous communications that seem to be passing back and forth between subatomic particles, at the very least, as noted by Basil Hiley, a physicist at Birbeck College in London, Aspect's findings "indicate that we must be prepared to consider radically new views of reality".

WE ARE THE LIGHT-BEARERS, THE KEEPERS OF THE TRUTH

I am He! the Bornless Spirit! having sight in the feet: Strong, and the Immortal Fire!
I am He! the Truth!
I am He! Who hate that evil should be wrought in the World!
I am He, that lighteneth and thundereth.
I am He, from Whom is the Shower of the Life of Earth:
I am He, Whose mouth ever flameth:
I am He, the Begetter and Manifester unto the Light:
I am He; the Grace of the World...

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

FREE YOUR MIND

In any quest it's good to have a guide. Someone who's been there before, who knows the perils along the way, someone who's traveled the same path and can provide comfort to one who might otherwise find themselves in harms way. In this most perilous of journeys, the great news is that you already have the absolute best guide at your disposal. You always have and always will. That guide, that guardian of the light within is none other than, drum roll please...  YOU.

We may be a product of the Creator (feel free to replace the word 'creator' with whatever word makes you feel the most connected to what you feel is the source of it all), but right now...in the always changing, always evolving, ever- elusive NOW, we are each a coagulation of matter combined with a self-awareness, an awareness of being a 'being' who's moving through a space trying to avoid bumping into other coagulations of matter. Our choices prevent us from doing so otherwise we'd never get anywhere. Our curiosity propels us. Our need to control this experience also drives us. But does curiosity really kill the cat or preserve it? The more we know, the more we know we don't know, yet the more we feel we need to know. To understand what it's all about. The why's, where's, and how's. The in's and out's. Why? To make us feel better about not knowing what the heck is really going on here?

Either way, WE are ultimately responsible for the choices we make in every instant of this elusive now. We might feel that words in a particular book may actually be a signpost for this moment, we may feel the words of a fellow thinker in whom we've place meaning beyond all others has the power to steer us along the path, but they do not. Do not follow false profits my friends. It's all you. The responsibility is squarely on your shoulders. You and you alone are having this experience.

Then what is this experience and what is all this talk about a 'Creator'? Unfortunately, the creator exists on a plane that we are unable to see. The creator is not a coagulation of matter, but matter none-the-less. Thinly dispersed across the universe and beyond. Each particle containing everything that also makes up the whole. Just as the droplet of water contains the same information as the entire ocean. Like the difference between a block of ice and water vapor, the particles making up the creator aren't solid and reflect light in such a way as to appear INvisible to the capabilities of our vision. Just because I can't see water in a particular form doesn't mean it's not there in some form. It's our choice whether or not to know and understand it's there and it's the choices WE make toward that understanding that propels us on our journey.

Our only role in all of this is to choose to understand that we are an extension of the whole, just like the droplet of water in the ocean. We are the ocean. A part of the whole with all of the information from the whole contained within this lump of coagulated matter moving through it trying not to collide with other lumps.

So how to connect with the ocean? Simple. Allow it to connect with you. It's already here. You don't need to seek it. Be available and it will show itself in it's way.

Here's a link to a website I've found invaluable in helping me understand how other thinkers have interpreted the unknown over the last few thousand years (of the many millions of years this floating rock has been around). So, please read some of what's there if only to know of the THOUSANDS of different ways we as a species interpret what we have no clue about (and don't say we'll know when we die...we don't know that).


FREE YOUR MIND AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

THE GRAND UNDERSTANDING

Who knows what lies beyond our current understanding of this universe, of this experience we call our 'reality'. At this point, a best guess is all we can hope for. We can read, we can study, we can practice, we can isolate ourselves from society, we can sacrifice, we can repent, we can suffer. We can submerge ourselves up to our necks in camel dung, fling ourselves from heights, frighten ourselves, laugh, cry, vomit, pound the ground and scream out loud, get drunk, get high, shed blood, starve ourselves, give away all we own, become penniless, look different, feel different, walk, talk and act differently, surround ourselves with different people with different ideas, reject those who think differently. Find love, find compassion, find religion, find that new pair of shoes you just can't live without... Does any of this bring us closer to the ultimate goal? For, it is a goal. Make no mistake, the goal of the spiritual being is to return home. Ask any guru if they've arrived home yet. If they say they have (regardless of how joyful their exterior may be), they are not your true guru.


Despite dedicating everything we have to this pursuit of spiritual freedom, most of us, particularly in North America, are raised with this goal-oriented mindset. Like getting into shape. We pay a gym, we hire a trainer, we change our eating habits and reject those who don't follow our new healthy ideals. A year later we're back to the same weight or more, our former friends and family are gone and you're no closer to your goal than you were when you started. On top of that you've rejected whatever organization you belonged to and branded them a bunch of crack-pots. 


It's the same with happiness. Why is this? We wanted lasting joy really bad. We still want it. In fact, we want it more and more the less we feel we have it. But, we donated to the Church or other similar organization, we put our time in praying, we've dumped some old clothes in a bin behind the box-store after shopping. So then why don't we have IT yet? It makes us so frustrated we could just punch someone...wait. I thought this was a quest to find lasting joy, not increasing frustration.


Years ago I began my own spiritual journey... Notice I said, years ago. I looked at it like any long journey. 'They' all say that's what it is. So I prepared myself for a long, arduous trip, picked up my shiny new journal and hunkered down. Like a hunter waiting for that trophy buck. The problem? Ten years later I was still just around the corner from lasting happiness.


But, I was even more determined than ever. All those years of searching and all the things I added to the list of things I needed to do in order to be eligible for entry into the joy club. This included but wasn't limited to regular attendance at the religious organization of choice, monetary donations to said organization, spiritual friends, renouncing a lot of things, numerous texts allowing me to follow the doctrine laid out by said organization, more texts in case I've missed something, a Guru, clothing that would identify me as a person following a particular belief, more jewelery and implements of worship and reminders than I could carry (that would also identify me as apart from those who didn't believe what I believed), candles, journals, statues, and a spiritual attitude that I would mostly use when I was around the other spiritual people I knew, while still giving the finger to total strangers in traffic and the like. At the same time completely missing the joy I had set out to find in the first place.


The conclusion I've come to at this point is the more good feelings I surround myself with, the more good feelings will arise inside of me and be emitted from that central point to the universe, the multi-verse if you will. Like photons created within the sun taking 1 million years to reach the earth. They were created within the core and eventually came bursting out, reaching the earth in just over 8 minutes to continue to sustain us all without asking for anything in return. In contrast, the more bad feelings are cultivated; the more attention is given to those feelings, the more they live and grow to affect everything on the outside of ourselves.

One of the first movies/documentaries I watched that helped me see things from a different perspective is 'What the Bleep Do We Know'. It took me watching it multiple times to really get a grasp on all it's theories and I'd recommend doing the same. One thing it suggests is that we can become addicted to feeling a certain way. Like being addicted to cigarettes or alcohol, the positive neurotransmitter factories and receptors in our brain cells that respond to our emotions and produce chemicals like dopamine, die off or are not reproduced if that feeling does not occur. At the same time you are creating more negative neurotransmitter factories that only produce bad feelings. Essentially, a lack of feeling good is literally the death of feeling good. Like I said, I watched it more than once :-).

There's strength in numbers and I'd be honored to have you join me in my quest to find the light inside...