Throughout the various stages of awakening, the truth seeker will naturally experience a desire to have an adult security blanket. It makes complete sense. In a hostile environment one feels better with a bit of magic on their side. Protection, if you will. It makes one feel powerful enough to weather the storms of self-examination.
The term RITUAL is being used here to describe anything one does on a regular basis or surrounds themselves with on a regular basis, that has absolutely nothing to do with achieving pure clarity. Ritual talisman, ritual mantra, ritual clothing, ritual location, ritual language, ritual person, what-have-you. Anything one does, has, surrounds oneself with, clothes oneself in, visits regularly etc. on a regular basis is nothing but an obstacle on the path to enlightenment.
Your only goal, my friend, is to rid yourself of all of it. Period.
There is no connection to your divine through the building called a church. Neither the human beings called Priests nor the man elected Pope can provide you with either the key to your salvation or the connection to the true source of all inspiration. Their hats, robes, incense, trinkets, candles, beads, gold and silver likenesses, etc. are for show and do not open the door to the place where God dwells.
Yes, a church is built by believers of a particular faith. Yes, religious paintings are painted by the faithful and the deeper the faith, the more powerful the representation of the object of that faith. Faith in a particular deity has led to the creation of the most beautiful works of art and architecture in human history. Writings by deeply faithful people such as Hafiz or Gibran or Kabir (must reads for any truth seeker) can easily bring tears to the eyes.
The most amazing results of this connection to the creative source are everywhere... There is no doubt of that. My question to you, my friend, is this. What have you created FOR your divine? How do you express your love TO your god? I didn't say how will you show others that you have love for a divine, nor did I ask how you express to others your love for a divine? It's a very different and distinct use of the words to express something much more private, personal, and profound. This something has nothing to do with SHOWING anything to anyone. It doesn't involve going anywhere, wearing anything special, saying anything over and over, or aligning yourself with any human mortals you believe will bring you closer to a special power by being in their presence.
The remedy? STOP. Right now. Wherever you are reading this. STOP, BE STILL, BREATHE, FEEL, AND LISTEN. Don't wait to go to church, don't reach for your prayer beads, don't get up only to fall to your knees. JUST BE, NOW. It's one of the many books of truth, but put the Bible down. I can read and re-read the same diet book over and over, but unless I put the book down and act on the information contained in it, the diet will never work. (Of course, that was just an example. 'Diet' is a 4-letter word and is not real. I would say don't ever do it, but once you achieve clarity, it will lose it's meaning.)
Anyhow, back to stopping... Right now... I need you to introduce yourself to your god... God, Allah, Buddha, Krishna, Ganesh, whatever... say hello, how are you, my name is... Now, just sit and feel... Do you feel silly? Are you emotional? Are you joyful? Guess what? It doesn't matter. No one is going to judge you. In fact, no one needs to know. The only one who needs to know you're building a one on one relationship with the creator is you. The fact of the matter (the truth, in other words) is that nowhere you go, nothing you wear and no one you're hanging around with can help you to cultivate this relationship. It's all you and only you...no church, no cross, no book, no priest, no beads, no prostrations, no robes, nothing.
Your homework: Continue to vocalize your conversation with your divine until it becomes natural. Don't ask for anything, don't repent for past deeds, don't praise or thank yet, just say hey...
Thanks for being here. See you on the other side. ;-)
I watched the first of the Zeitgeist movies in 2008 shortly following my own awakening. At the time, the film had only been out for a year. Since then, there have been two additional movies released as follow-ups, not to mention a growing movement connected to the recent Occupy Movement associated with the peaceful warriors of Anonymous.
In addition, a new installment has been announced for 2012 called, 'Beyond the Pale'. These movies are free! They are privately funded and available to anyone. To me that's the true measure of altruism and compassion.
This series of movies is like Michael Moore times 1000. Call it what you want, but regardless of being labeled a conspiracy film, it will definitely make you see things differently once you've seen it. The original Zeitgeist is broken up into different parts. It goes into 9/11 theories, facts about the origins of the Christian faith, the facts behind the war in Iraq, the US Federal Reserve and more.
I'd recommend it to you, my friend. Watch it with an open mind and it will make you question your own uninformed opinion of many things. If nothing else, it will make you want to go out and try to prove these theories wrong... If so, make sure this is the start of questioning everything you've simply trusted on the 'NEWS' and in the 'PAPER'...
Here is the original Zeitgeist:
The second installment is a bit more out there with talk and an actual plan by the filmmaker, Jacque Fresco, for a system of living based on his own utopian ideals. His plan makes perfect sense, however, it would require such a radical and complete shift in the way the world really works, that it would take generations starting from now to make it happen. I believe we're too far gone for such a plan to be effective.
Here's the full movie for Zeitgeist, Addendum:
The third installment (2011) goes into the science of brainwashing. It describes to the viewer in stark detail how we as a collective society have been brainwashed in a scientific and psychological way since most of us were born. Again, watch it with an open mind and I guarantee it will change the way you think.
Here's the full version of 'Moving Forward':
For the skeptics (that should be us all) here's someone who's made a film debunking the debunking of the original Zeitgeist in the religious section:
There's films are all over the web on every side you can imagine. The key is to watch as many as possible in order to make your own decisions. The best part? When you've read and watched enough, you'll discover the common theme in all of it. That it's the same thing; us as conscious matter trying to figure out what this all is and what it all means.
The sheer multitude of ways we express those questions is what makes us all one. I tend to think of the multitude of ways we express and reaffirm our connections to the creator like those who are slaves to the pharmaceutical industry, popping one pill after another.
If one particular company that markets a pill had a product that worked, there would be no competition for them because they would have found the definitive cure to that particular disease (dis-ease).
As it stands, there are just as many companies selling pills as there are believers in a particular pill to provide them with a cure. And of those CHEMICAL CONCOCTIONS we're putting our faith in to 'keep us alive', how many of them CURE you? If they cured you, those companies would no longer exist which goes against the mandate of the very corporations that manufacture the pills you're taking. We'll talk more next time about the black hole of the Medical System...
QUESTION EVERYTHING YOU'VE NOT DISCOVERED YOURSELF THROUGH RESEARCH OF MULTIPLE SOURCES.
I came across this very cool video of holographic technology. It shows someone manipulating 3D shapes like balls and cubes; rolling them on pieces of paper, stacking the cubes etc. Check it out...
Now here's the million dollar question. Is it real? For that matter what is real? Because we can see it, does that mean it's real? Because we can only see it, is it any less 'real' than those things that we are able to detect with more than one sense? You may say that everything in this world is real, but most of it you can't smell, touch, taste, hear or see and even if you can see it, none of our other senses can sense whatever it is.
So if our sight is the only sense that is able to sense what's in front of us, is it real? The next big question is, if none of our senses can sense a thing of this world, does it exist? It's the old Buddhist philosophical question, 'If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear or see it, does it exist?' Take that further. Is what is around the corner and out of our view still there? Even further, does the world still exist when we close our eyes?
Of course you say. I can still hear the birds outside (or traffic, depending on where you live). I can still feel the floor beneath me. I can smell the baking coming from the shop down the street. So it's definitely real. Right? So what if we take those away? What if we subject ourselves to sensory deprivation? If we deliberately cut out as many things that trigger our senses then what's left. What's real?
What's real is what you give meaning and attention to in any given moment. A flower is not a flower until we make it so. Without the name we've all agreed to call it and our individual experience with this particular thing, what is it?
Similarly, without the name they've agreed to give you and the individual experiences that you believe define you, what or who are you? In this world, this dimension, this experience we're having, we are essentially defined by everything we've done to create the life we have now combined with the various experiences we've had along the way, like rocks in the stream that caused us to change our course.
So year after year of adding the things of this world to your life and changing course more times than can be counted, where have you ended up? Certainly not feeling like the real thing that you are which is pure energy, light and part of the essence that makes up everything in the universe.
I once live in a very noisy downtown environment. I used to walk a friend's dog occasionally. The dog was normally very obedient, very loving and always attentive. But, every time I would take her out for a walk in downtown she would be the exact opposite. She was hard to control, extremely nervous and fearful. I realized after paying attention to her reactions outside vs. inside, that her senses were being bombarded, thus creating a completely different dog on our walks. The most telling thing, however, was when I would walk out of downtown to a peaceful park. She instantly would go back to being calm, loving and obedient. Even with squirrels, other dogs, distractions etc., she was back to being her attentive loving self again.
So I began looking at myself in the same way. I started observing the sheer number of stresses I had willingly added to my life over the years. Where I chose to live, the career I chose, the car I drove, where I chose to drive, where I chose to walk, the tv shows I watched, the radio I listened to, the type of music I listened to, the clothes I chose to wear to express to the world who I wanted them to see etc. All the things I added to my life in order to define myself as a 'real' person and most importantly understanding that if I had chosen certain things to this point, then I could certainly choose other things from this moment on. So I started looking at how I felt as a good gauge. Observing myself as I watched 'Disco' the dog.
I decided that if FEELING BAD upset the balance in any way, I got rid of what was causing it or changed it. Day after day, step by step chipping away at the matrix my choices had created. I canceled cable, stopped listening to mainstream radio (listening to music that neither sticks in my head nor is attached to selling me something or gossiping/judging others), stopped going to the movies, stopped going to malls, stopped going to bars and restaurants, took public transit more, gave myself more time to get places so I'm not feeling pressed, took walks alone in peaceful environments, reminded myself to look up, breathe and so much more on a daily basis. All just different choices leading to different results that literally changes the future!
Without as many distractions, I then subjected my SELF to as much sensory deprivation as possible. However you decide to do this, it's up to you. For me, I've found lying down works best, but not if I'm feeling sleepy. There's no reason you need to listen to those who say you need to sit this way or that or breathe in a certain way or visualize anything at all. In fact this is the exact opposite. You don't want to have any preconceived notions or expectations. You want to be available for what comes naturally.
Rather than setting out to achieve something by doing this, your goal is to pear down to nothing and ALLOW whatever comes to come. I would (and still do) cover my eyes with a sleep shade and put noise cancelling headphones on with generic music that won't cause thoughts or emotions to arise. In fact, I created my own meditation music with programs available to everyone for free and would more than recommend trying it. The key is to make it as generic as possible, even if it's one note for 10 minutes. Your goal is to derail your mind from it's habitual patterns.
I would suggest starting with ten minutes so you don't fall asleep (also, if you do tend to fall asleep then sit up). The more you practice, the better you'll get. The main purpose of this is to wipe your mind of thoughts, stop you from listening to anything your mind can identify with, stop you from seeing things that have meaning attached to them and to literally focus on nothing. If a thought comes, you recognize it and let it go. Like a sign on the highway that comes and goes to a route you've no intention of taking. It comes and goes, then back to nothing.
I'll talk more next time on breathing and how important it is to life. That may sound silly, but we've forgotten to breathe. Let me just say this. Getting to nothing also involves the ability to ALLOW your body to take in and process oxygen and expel carbon dioxide. Naturally and without you trying. Early on, let's just say that every time you feel yourself being swept away by your mind, take a breath, stretch tall to allow your spine to stretch and your nervous system (the source and transit system of your energy) to flow unimpeded, and relax the tension from your body until you can't feel any of it.
So now let me ask this. Once you wipe your mind of thoughts, can't see or hear anything that means anything to you, and have relaxed every part of your body so you can't feel it, what will be? What will you be? What will you see in your minds eye? For that matter without thoughts, sounds and visions that create obstacles to your true self what thoughts will come when they come?
Will they have anything to do with the YOU you thought you were? For me, after a few years of daily sessions, my thoughts were becoming more profound and epiphanies about life and the universe and my place in it were coming every time. My view of the world changed and the things I focused on changed. By wiping clean the cluttered chalk-board of my life, what was left over was so much more PURE and I knew it had come from within me without external influence.
Make this your intention and you WILL change what you've convinced yourself is real. As a result your life will change to reflect those new thoughts and realizations. I guarantee it. Once this happens, you'll find and be able to maintain your connection to the source of creative energy in the universe. At this point, even if you've never written or painted or made music, photographed or created anything before, you will FEEL the connection you have lost (but know is there) and you will be urged to express that creativity in ways you never though possible.
Make it a point to see as many creations as you can that help you realize that whatever it is, it was created with a divine connection, a link to the creative force that connects everything and KNOW you are a part of this force.
Without fear, make it your intention to allow this connection to once again be felt.
How does one describe the indescribable? Is it even possible to put pure love into words? How do we express our connection to the creative energy that exists in us all? We do so in every good action, in every positive vibration we send outward to the universe. Please enjoy the following from one of my favorites, the Sufi poet Rumi:
Your love lifts my soul from the body to the sky
And you lift me up out of the two worlds.
I want your sun to reach my raindrops,
So your heat can raise my soul upward like a cloud.
Rumi expresses his connection to the creative source by allowing his absolute understanding of that connection to flow through him. How does he do it? By giving up, by giving in, and by giving over all to whatever may come. Love is never present in the absence of the truth... If you have a chance to read a few of his many other works, I'm sure you'll see how Rumi allows that truth to be expressed in each and every syllable.
For all those who express their connection to the creative source in whatever you do. In whatever form you allow the thoughts and ideas birthed within you from the great nothing to flow through you, that is your own personal link to the source. Like the seeds that give way to the apple that produces more seeds that are once again planted to produce more in a never-ending cycle, these thoughts and ideas that come from the light inside you are alive. They have a birth and a death. Only you can decide how long they live. Will you protect your gifts from the creator and allow them to flourish?
The video below is one man's description of his change in consciousness. I've been talking about and certainly learning about other people's awakening since my own. When I watch videos of people describing their experiences or read articles about it (like the one I plan to post soon), I get emotional remembering what I went through at the time. It's funny, but since then, I've felt like someone who announces they've seen a ufo or little green men...or been abducted and probed. Everything can change in an instant...
In addition to getting flooded by scenes from 'The Matrix', another of the movies that kept popping into my head was 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind'. No, not because of the whole alien thing... Because once this happened to me, I thought of myself like the Richard Dreyfus character who is scrambling to explain what happened to him, desperately seeking answers to explain his upside down world. No one could understand what he was going through, let alone him.
At first, I thought this was some sort of global awakening. I couldn't believe everyone wasn't going through this. I've always felt my averageness made me a good gauge of what most people like or don't like, so after years of odd looks and suggestions of seeing a psychiatrist (from myself and others), I've realized my experience is definitely not global. Needless to say, I'm very tight lipped and keep my awakened cards close to my chest.
My experience is not exactly as this man describes and yours may not be the same either, but there are definite similarities that will strike you to the core if you've experienced it already. Like I've said before, if you've gone through this, you'll know it. If not, remember to remember and continue creating the circumstances that will allow what's hiding to emerge in the most blindingly indescribable blaze of glory. Please enjoy.
I just finished watching a wonderful documentary called, 'In the Shadow of the Moon' about the early space program and the men who traveled to the moon. Unexpectedly so, this was a very moving film. I thought it was going to be filled with back-slapping and high-fiving, about spending Billions to send hunks of metal with humans in them into outer space while so many suffer here on this rock.
Not at all. As a matter of fact, it left me with a profound sense of wonderment. It's not only an interesting look into our obsession with what's out there, but an even more interesting look into the spiritual changes one can go through after being strapped to a giant rocket and fired into the air...way into the air, only to look back from whence they came so-to-speak and see where we all live (seeing the earth like we do looking at the moon). Below are some excerpts from interviews with each of the spacemen. Trust me, not one shot of backslapping or high-fiving in this one...
"I felt that I was literally standing on a plateau somewhere out there in space; a plateau that science and technology had allowed me to get to; but now what I was seeing and even more important how I was feeling at that time, science and technology had no answers for. Literally no answers because there I was, and there you are. There you are, the earth, dynamic, overwhelming and I felt that in the world there's too much purpose, too much logic, its too beautiful to happen 'by accident'. There had to be somebody bigger than you and bigger than me. I mean this in a spiritual sense not a religious sense; there has to be a creator of the universe who stands above the religions that we ourselves create to govern our lives."
Gene Cernan
"I think if you do something that's drastically different, like flying to the moon and coming back again, everyone tells you how important it is, how wonderful it is, how important, important, important. Then by comparison a lot of other things that used to seem important don't seem quite as much so. I'm not saying that I am able to face life with greater equanimity because I've flown to the moon, but I try too. And maybe some of our terrestrial squabbles don't seem as important after having flown to the moon as they did before."
Mike Collins
"We learned a lot about the moon but what we really learned was about the earth. The fact that just from the distance of the moon you could put your thumb up and you could hide the earth behind your thumb. Everything that you've ever known. Your loved ones, your business the problems of the earth itself; all behind your thumb and how insignificant we really all are. But, then how fortunate we are to have this body and be able to enjoy living here amongst the beauty of the earth itself."
Jim Lovell
"This truly is an oasis and we don't take very good care of it, and I think the elevation of that awareness is a real contribution to, you know, saving the earth if you will."
Dave Scott
"Earth has changed a lot since we started flying at Gemini. There's a lot of things like urban pollution and you can see that when you hit orbit now. You can see the big cities all have their own set of unique atmospheres, they really do. We ought to be looking out for our kids and our grandkids and what are we worried about? The price of a gallon of gasoline. You know, in the united states they are worried about three dollar a gallon gas, that's awful."
John Young
"Since that time I have not complained about the weather one single time; I'm glad there is weather. I have not complained about traffic; I'm glad there are people around. One of the things that I did when I got home I went down to shopping centers. I'd go around there, get an ice cream cone or something and just watch the people go by and think 'Boy, we're lucky to be here'. Why do people complain about the earth? We are living in the Garden of Eden."
Alan Bean
"The biggest joy was on the way home. In my cockpit window, every two
minutes, the earth, the moon, the sun and the whole 360 degree panorama
of the heavens; and that was a powerful, overwhelming experience.
Suddenly I realized that the molecules of my body and the molecules of
the space craft and the molecules in the bodies of my partners were
prototyped and manufactured in some ancient generation of stars. That
was an overwhelming sense of oneness, of connectedness, it wasn't them
and us; it was, 'that's me, that's all of it, that's one thing'; and it was
accompanied by an ecstasy, a sense of 'oh my god', 'wow', 'yes', an
insight, an epiphany.
Edgar Mitchell
I wish you all, the experience of your own insights, epiphanies and sense of 'Oh my God'.
I've attached a few speeches below that I've found on the tube. I was affected by them.Was I permanently changed as a result of watching them? Perhaps, but what they did do was remind me of the purpose and intention of my journey. It reminded my spirit and kept me on course. For anything that taps into your emotions is tapping into your spirit. The constant reminder of the spiritual life and one's commitment to living a joyful existence is, in my opinion, the single most important choice a person can make from moment to moment.
When I embraced the type-A lifestyle, I surrounded myself with reminders of that life. I kept that intention alive perfectly well and had certainly gotten good at justifying the choices I made that kept that life going. I was an expert at cultivating that life by filling it with whatever perpetuated it. All my party people on speed-dial including the dealer, going to the big games to see and be seen, hanging at the bar till all hours, MMA fan, owned two guns, paranoid of the other guys including the 'terrorists', coffee and energy drinks, high fat, high sugar, high salt diet, fast food, fast woman, fast cars. Even seeing one of those supercars (you know, one of those 2 million dollar ones the playas own) would elicit a flood of emotions, excitement, jealousy, inadequacy...I wanted one and might have given a limb for one if given the choice.
The point is we all have a choice. Let me be more specific. In every moment we have an opportunity to steer our lives in one direction or another by the choices we make. We can choose to remind ourselves that we're creating good in every moment and surround ourselves with nothing but good and emitting nothing but good from within ourselves to every thing out there. Or not. The choice is yours.
So please watch these videos and if they light a spark of feeling differently than you're used to, maybe choose to go with it, and then choose to go with it more, and remind yourself some more, and before you know it, it's who you are.
THE GREATEST SPEECH EVER MADE - Charlie Chaplin
THE GIRL WHO SILENCED THE WORLD FOR 5 MINUTES
SPEECH FROM THE MOVIE 'NETWORK' AS SEEN IN THE MOVIE 'ZEITGEIST'
I am He! the Bornless Spirit! having sight in the feet: Strong, and the Immortal Fire! I am He! the Truth! I am He! Who hate that evil should be wrought in the World! I am He, that lighteneth and thundereth. I am He, from Whom is the Shower of the Life of Earth: I am He, Whose mouth ever flameth: I am He, the Begetter and Manifester unto the Light: I am He; the Grace of the World...
In any quest it's good to have a guide. Someone who's been there before, who knows the perils along the way, someone who's traveled the same path and can provide comfort to one who might otherwise find themselves in harms way. In this most perilous of journeys, the great news is that you already have the absolute best guide at your disposal. You always have and always will. That guide, that guardian of the light within is none other than, drum roll please... YOU.
We may be a product of the Creator (feel free to replace the word 'creator' with whatever word makes you feel the most connected to what you feel is the source of it all), but right now...in the always changing, always evolving, ever- elusive NOW, we are each a coagulation of matter combined with a self-awareness, an awareness of being a 'being' who's moving through a space trying to avoid bumping into other coagulations of matter. Our choices prevent us from doing so otherwise we'd never get anywhere. Our curiosity propels us. Our need to control this experience also drives us. But does curiosity really kill the cat or preserve it? The more we know, the more we know we don't know, yet the more we feel we need to know. To understand what it's all about. The why's, where's, and how's. The in's and out's. Why? To make us feel better about not knowing what the heck is really going on here?
Either way, WE are ultimately responsible for the choices we make in every instant of this elusive now. We might feel that words in a particular book may actually be a signpost for this moment, we may feel the words of a fellow thinker in whom we've place meaning beyond all others has the power to steer us along the path, but they do not. Do not follow false profits my friends. It's all you. The responsibility is squarely on your shoulders. You and you alone are having this experience.
Then what is this experience and what is all this talk about a 'Creator'? Unfortunately, the creator exists on a plane that we are unable to see. The creator is not a coagulation of matter, but matter none-the-less. Thinly dispersed across the universe and beyond. Each particle containing everything that also makes up the whole. Just as the droplet of water contains the same information as the entire ocean. Like the difference between a block of ice and water vapor, the particles making up the creator aren't solid and reflect light in such a way as to appear INvisible to the capabilities of our vision. Just because I can't see water in a particular form doesn't mean it's not there in some form. It's our choice whether or not to know and understand it's there and it's the choices WE make toward that understanding that propels us on our journey.
Our only role in all of this is to choose to understand that we are an extension of the whole, just like the droplet of water in the ocean. We are the ocean. A part of the whole with all of the information from the whole contained within this lump of coagulated matter moving through it trying not to collide with other lumps.
So how to connect with the ocean? Simple. Allow it to connect with you. It's already here. You don't need to seek it. Be available and it will show itself in it's way.
Here's a link to a website I've found invaluable in helping me understand how other thinkers have interpreted the unknown over the last few thousand years (of the many millions of years this floating rock has been around). So, please read some of what's there if only to know of the THOUSANDS of different ways we as a species interpret what we have no clue about (and don't say we'll know when we die...we don't know that).
Who knows what lies beyond our current understanding of this universe, of this experience we call our 'reality'. At this point, a best guess is all we can hope for. We can read, we can study, we can practice, we can isolate ourselves from society, we can sacrifice, we can repent, we can suffer. We can submerge ourselves up to our necks in camel dung, fling ourselves from heights, frighten ourselves, laugh, cry, vomit, pound the ground and scream out loud, get drunk, get high, shed blood, starve ourselves, give away all we own, become penniless, look different, feel different, walk, talk and act differently, surround ourselves with different people with different ideas, reject those who think differently. Find love, find compassion, find religion, find that new pair of shoes you just can't live without... Does any of this bring us closer to the ultimate goal? For, it is a goal. Make no mistake, the goal of the spiritual being is to return home. Ask any guru if they've arrived home yet. If they say they have (regardless of how joyful their exterior may be), they are not your true guru.
Despite dedicating everything we have to this pursuit of spiritual freedom, most of us, particularly in North America, are raised with this goal-oriented mindset. Like getting into shape. We pay a gym, we hire a trainer, we change our eating habits and reject those who don't follow our new healthy ideals. A year later we're back to the same weight or more, our former friends and family are gone and you're no closer to your goal than you were when you started. On top of that you've rejected whatever organization you belonged to and branded them a bunch of crack-pots.
It's the same with happiness. Why is this? We wanted lasting joy really bad. We still want it. In fact, we want it more and more the less we feel we have it. But, we donated to the Church or other similar organization, we put our time in praying, we've dumped some old clothes in a bin behind the box-store after shopping. So then why don't we have IT yet? It makes us so frustrated we could just punch someone...wait. I thought this was a quest to find lasting joy, not increasing frustration.
Years ago I began my own spiritual journey... Notice I said, years ago. I looked at it like any long journey. 'They' all say that's what it is. So I prepared myself for a long, arduous trip, picked up my shiny new journal and hunkered down. Like a hunter waiting for that trophy buck. The problem? Ten years later I was still just around the corner from lasting happiness.
But, I was even more determined than ever. All those years of searching and all the things I added to the list of things I needed to do in order to be eligible for entry into the joy club. This included but wasn't limited to regular attendance at the religious organization of choice, monetary donations to said organization, spiritual friends, renouncing a lot of things, numerous texts allowing me to follow the doctrine laid out by said organization, more texts in case I've missed something, a Guru, clothing that would identify me as a person following a particular belief, more jewelery and implements of worship and reminders than I could carry (that would also identify me as apart from those who didn't believe what I believed), candles, journals, statues, and a spiritual attitude that I would mostly use when I was around the other spiritual people I knew, while still giving the finger to total strangers in traffic and the like. At the same time completely missing the joy I had set out to find in the first place.
The conclusion I've come to at this point is the more good feelings I surround myself with, the more good feelings will arise inside of me and be emitted from that central point to the universe, the multi-verse if you will. Like photons created within the sun taking 1 million years to reach the earth. They were created within the core and eventually came bursting out, reaching the earth in just over 8 minutes to continue to sustain us all without asking for anything in return. In contrast, the more bad feelings are cultivated; the more attention is given to those feelings, the more they live and grow to affect everything on the outside of ourselves.
One of the first movies/documentaries I watched that helped me see things from a different perspective is 'What the Bleep Do We Know'. It took me watching it multiple times to really get a grasp on all it's theories and I'd recommend doing the same. One thing it suggests is that we can become addicted to feeling a certain way. Like being addicted to cigarettes or alcohol, the positive neurotransmitter factories and receptors in our brain cells that respond to our emotions and produce chemicals like dopamine, die off or are not reproduced if that feeling does not occur. At the same time you are creating more negative neurotransmitter factories that only produce bad feelings. Essentially, a lack of feeling good is literally the death of feeling good. Like I said, I watched it more than once :-).
There's strength in numbers and I'd be honored to have you join me in my quest to find the light inside...
