GIVING IT ALL AWAY

"The true philosopher, the student of the Esoteric Wisdom, entirely loses sight of personalities, dogmatic beliefs and special religions. Moreover, Esoteric philosophy reconciles all religions, strips every one of its outward, human garments, and shows the root of each to be identical with that of every other great religion." - Madame Blavatsky, The Secret Doctrine, 1888

In a follow-up to my post about American Nomads I thought I'd post a link to this movie. It's called 'Into the Wild'. It came out in 2007 and was directed by Sean Penn. It's based on the true story of a young man who decided to leave it all behind and eventually found his way to Alaska. Great movie!

When I first began to see the world with fresh eyes, it was (and continues to a lesser extent now 4 yrs later) an awesome time in my life. I don't know how else to say it. For a good two years afterward, I felt that each time I walked out the door, I was struck with a sense of awe and wonder at what I saw. Colors, lots of colors. That's the first thing I saw and still do. Plants, flowers, animals, people. Not people watching in the 'Starbucks' sense, but seeing people for the spirit an intention that drives them. I could see to the core of what drives us with unimaginable clarity. Just like when you turn the heater on in your car and slowly watch the frost melt away from the windshield to the point that you can clearly see and understand there's a depth in the world you had never seen.

Along with a blinding clarity and an understanding of things I previously could not even comprehend came a list of numerous changes that suddenly occurred. One of those changes was an increase in energy and recovery time. I felt like the source of the energy of the entire universe was coming from my center. I'll talk about how that has continued to effect my life later, including losing 40 pounds to the most stable my weight has ever been. 

I wanted, however, to first say that the change I talk about was not a new sense of WILL POWER; it wasn't creating a new 'game-plan' for my life or 'motivating' myself or finding a new diet plan. It was a new understanding, a new way of thinking and perceiving the world. As a result, different circumstances were naturally produced from the thoughts in my head. 

It also meant that what I had been addicted to because of my previous way of thinking (which attracted those circumstances to support that world) no longer had the same hold on me. Whatever addictions I had, whatever habits I couldn't control, I now saw deflated like the air leaving a balloon. None of those addictions had any power over me any longer. NONE OF THEM. Addictions to salt and sugar, to fast food, to alcohol, to cigarettes, to sex, to power and control, to 'things' like cars and clothing, jewelery, watches, colognes, sunglasses, etc., etc. In short, I became every marketing and advertising firm's biggest nightmare...

My new intention, my newly rediscovered connection with the true will of the universal creative force was no longer connected to the circumstances needed to support life in the matrix. At the very moment of awakening, I was literally bombarded with images of Neo from 'The Matrix' when he sits up in the incubation pod and looks around. Every moment of that scene played in my head over and over in a loop combined with an overwhelming sense of growing relief as if I had been given a reprieve from execution as I was being led to the gallows.

Suddenly and all the trappings of the type-A life I had been immersed in fell away or were easily overcome. I looked at my former self like someone I used to know. Like an ex-husband or wife. You understand they weren't good for you at a particular time in your development, (but served a purpose for that time none-the-less) and you know that even though they are still out there somewhere, they no longer server that purpose and no longer have a hold over you. You understand now.

Unfortunately, at the same time I was hit with a feeling I never truly felt before and it bothered me to the point of tears. Of course, now that I was in touch with the source of all my feelings and emotions, a leaf falling from a tree made me cry, but this was particularly hard to see for the first time ever at 42. 

I had always professed to being a compassionate person, a nice guy. But now that my eyes were open, I suddenly saw what I had never seen before. I'm not just talking about the suffering of homeless, abused children, starving and oppressed, but the suffering of us all. It suddenly became clear to me that we are ALL the source of our ills. To suddenly understand that WE are the crazy influence that begets all that follows in this world is a sobering realization, but definitely one circumstance that is inherent in the world of the awakened. 

Don't worry, my friend, if you'd like me to let you know where you are on the compassion meter, let me say this. Regardless of how compassionate you may 'feel', toward something or someone, unless you act immediately on those impulses and without self-awareness, you've still got a ways to go. The good news is this is what our spiritual practice is for. The better news is that acting immediately on compassionate impulses is one of the circumstances inherent in the world of the enlightened. So if it doesn't come to you as a result of a spiritual awakening, you can certainly practice it which will eventually lead you to the light inside.

Once I perceived my earthly experience differently, my primary impulse for a while was to rid myself of all the 'stuff' I had accumulated in my lifelong shopping spree that had resulted not only in my living space being crammed with useless junk, but a full storage locker of crap that I dragged around with me everywhere I moved. 

I began to give things away at a rapid rate, $500 watches, boxes of accessories, boxes of sporting equipment that I donated to schools in depressed areas of the city, clothing to shelters, friends, and acquaintances. I used to drive around with my car full of crap and open the back to allow street people to rummage through my leather jackets, shoes and boots, hats, gloves, blankets, sleeping bags and so much more that I was keeping to myself while others suffered. 

I looked into the eyes of people I'd previously ignored, I touched the people I was led to believe were 'untouchables' with a clear understanding of their existence and our connection to each other. The divisions I had placed between myself and everything/everyone were now gone just like the walls I had placed between myself and the creator. What was now seen could not be unseen.

Four years later, I'm clearly aware of the impulses in this world that trigger responses; the causes that produce certain effects so-to-speak. When we live without the circumstances of the former world controlling us, we are able to clearly see when one of those impulses arises. We are now able to see the forest for the trees and we can immediately pacify the impulse before it has a chance to get a foot-hold and become a habit/addiction. It simply goes back to being the thing it was before we gave it meaning.

I would recommend to anyone on a spiritual journey, whether or not you're currently living an awakened existence, to make an inventory of the 'things' you've accumulated and either drag around wherever you go or seldom see (if ever) while you pay for a storage facility.

You don't have to give it all away, my friend, but perhaps consider lightening the load of the things you tell yourself you need in your life...