What does it mean to be an individual? Does it mean we have a personality that is distinct from others? Does it mean we like or dislike things in ways other human beings don't? Does it mean we are separate from others because our 'individuality' means we're 'different' from others? Is it as important as they say to express our 'individuality'; to, in essence, show others how we differ from them? Or perhaps it's to indicate to others whose thoughts about WHO THEY ARE (expressed as their 'individuality') might be similar to our thoughts about WHO WE ARE (expressed as our 'individuality'), which, in my humble opinion, nullifies the definition of being an individual...
So we're told we should EXPRESS ourselves as individuals. There's nothing 'wrong' with that at all. Besides, in the context of self-discovery, nothing is defined as 'wrong'. There may be habits, misunderstandings, and perceptions that we would like to alter, but to impose empty and false notions of RIGHT and WRONG or GOOD and BAD is making something out of nothing. These notions are ones that we should learn to recognize (as they come to the forefront of our minds) and simply allow to come and go without worry or attention being paid beyond encouraging them to continue along the conveyor-belt of thoughts, so-to-speak.
How do we often choose to identify ourselves as individuals in today's society? By getting a tattoo, by dressing sporty and hip or professional and conservative, by getting our nails or hair styled in a specific way, by wearing various items of jewelery or timepieces, by whitening our teeth, by getting a tan, driving a certain style of car etc.; all the decisions we make about how to project to the world, how we FEEL about and perceive ourselves as well as how we believe displaying a certain number, color, shape, and size of a particular material or combination of materials will be perceived by others.
The reasons we acquire, possess and display material objects is firstly because we can (i.e. we exist at a time and in a place and with circumstances that put us in a position whereby we have access to and are able to afford to buy X, Y or Z) and also because we CHOOSE to (no d'uh, lol). But, most importantly, it is a mechanism for our own safety and protection. In addition, in this capitalist world we live in, for advancement purposes. In many cases, the right combination of adornment can make the difference between SUCCESS and FAILURE (two more words to recognize, deflate and let go, btw). The problem is we're building a lie (or one upon another) about who we really are. This lie or series of lies then becomes our truth. We may not directly lie to others, but we've created a lie that we now believe about ourselves that, itself, becomes the lie that's told to others.
Sure, you're more successful than you might otherwise have been. So you tell yourself. Sure, it feels so good to show off the new ornament you picked up to replace the old one. Of course you 'needed' the designer brand. You 'deserve' to 'treat yourself'. Even if it's something you tell yourself you WANTED... The point is you found a way to get what you wanted and are now displaying it for all to see. Don't you see what you've created? A facade. A front. A lie... Trust me, you'll eventually get to the point you can't stand this 'self' any longer...
Now, all you want to do is to find out who is behind the curtain you've drawn across the real you, who is under the veils, who is under all the layers of LIES you've told and believe about who you really are. Year after year since innocence was lost, since you felt the only way to keep yourSELF safe in this hostile and dangerous world was to hide behind a mask that you now find impossible to remove and has now become like a walled prison.
These things do not define you, are not you and have no place in who you really are. The process begins with removing all of it. First, by removing it from your body to an out of sight location such as a storage box and then by putting it somewhere out of sight like the attic or a storage facility (that you will one day empty of it's contents and stop wasting money on). I know it will feel weird at first to walk around not adorned with your pretty stuff, but hopefully a sense of freedom will creep in as well, as if the weight of feeling like you need to project a false self is slowly being lifted. Beyond this, once you've been able to go out in public for a while and not feel judged, you might even consider giving away some of that booty to someone less fortunate.
It's this process of pairing down that will create a tremendous feeling of levity to the point that it will snowball to all areas of your life. If you can give up wearing the diamond encrusted jewels, you may end up giving up all sorts of things. Removing layer after layer of masks will soon become your habit, so what's to say removing habit after habit can't be as simple.
Personally, by the time I had really gotten underway in the destruction of my facade, not only had I removed cool sunglasses, watches worth thousands, gold rings, necklaces, earrings, and more from my body, but I proceeded to give it all away in bags that I would hand to people in passing. I gave away dozens of suits, shirts, shoes, jackets and piles of other expensive items that I threw in the trunk of my car and simply opened in less fortunate areas of town. I gave away my set of golf clubs and took a box filled with high end sports gear to a school in an underprivileged neighborhood. The giving up extended to cigarettes and alcohol, cable television and movies, sports and competition and even sex.
Now, I'm not suggesting what you might think I might be suggesting... (or am i, lol?) that the answer to all your problems is by permanently quitting everything that you enjoy, everything that defines you, everything that makes you an individual. But what I am saying is that perhaps you are under the mistaken impression that these things you have acquired (both habits and material things) have become someone you believe is who you Truly are.
The only way to uncover that true you from the prison you've created, is by removing this false self and it's associated masks. You don't need to give up these things all at once or for any significant length of time, as in the case of habits, to feel the sheer weight lifted from not being burdened by all this stuff or these urges. The surprising thing to come from getting rid of all of it is what replaces the habits or fills up the space (in you, with you if that makes sense) that was created when everything was removed. New habits and interests will emerge as well as ways of thinking you never though possible, seeing things you never saw before, and more.
The main thing to remember is that this is all you. It's on you to do it and it's you who shall reap the rewards from what you have sewn which will extend to everything and everyone. The water may have become a bit cloudy and turbulent over the years, but our task from this point forward is to make it crystal clear and still like the surface of a mirror.
Your Homework: Without having showered and wearing no hat to cover bed-head, go to a public place wearing what you normally wear at home behind closed doors; weather it's throwing a jacket over a pair of pj's to grab milk at the store or wearing those grubby, smelly work clothes for a walk through the mall. Notice how many or how few people point and laugh at you or even care. The advanced part of this exercise involves not brushing your teeth or putting on deodorant (c'mon, smell it up right!) before going out; again noticing just how few people care what you look like or even smell like...
PS If you care about your 'social standing' or your 'reputation' being affected by doing these exercises, then this is not the blog for you nor the right time for you to be on this particular path.
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